Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
