Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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