Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think my fart just growled at me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
