you guys were way drunker than both of me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
