IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
True college students do jello shots in the library
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
