How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
