How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
