There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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