That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ttyl tear gas
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
