Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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