I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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