4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
