New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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