Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
