ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize