Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
