whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
