you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
