This girl is more easily done than said...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
