I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
