Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
