TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So squirting runs in the family.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
