It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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