Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
