dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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