We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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