And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
