I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ttyl tear gas
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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