Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
