super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
