btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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