Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
