Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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