As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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