bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Drunk is a universal language darling
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
