You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
