I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
