Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
