shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's rum buckets o'clock
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
