so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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