Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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