turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
