He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
home. puking in laundry basket.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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