no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
