It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
