elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize