adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
