I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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