Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Two words: nipple clamps
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