Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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