i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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