where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
