he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
