I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize