Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
