I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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