We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
