he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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