why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
