hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize