I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
