Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
