he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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