piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
PANTIES FOUND
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