K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
