Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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