she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
