I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is my gift to your gina
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
