apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
