So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
