in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
